The Flower

The Flower

Meg Folsom

            This day started out as a routine one at the prenatal office where I work. It was what we call a "non-clinic day" - a day for paper work, phone calls and such. We see patients only as needed.

            That morning I received a call from a patient who was 25 weeks pregnant.  She hadn’t felt her baby move in several hours. We instruct our patients that their baby should move at least 10 times in a 2 hour period. If they don’t feel movement, they are to drink and eat something sweet, sit down, wake the baby with gentle pressure and get those 10 counts. If they don’t, they are to call the office right away. The mother stated she had done all these things with no result. I suggested she come into the office to be monitored.

            When she arrived she stated she had eaten and had a protein shake. I listened for the baby’s heartbeat on our fetal monitor and heard nothing, not even the swish of amniotic fluid that the trained ear can notice.  I felt certain something was wrong but wanted to confirm it with an ultrasound.  Before I made the appointment for the ultrasound, I asked her if she wanted to wait for her husband.  I was trying to sound very upbeat. She said he was out of town training for a new job. She said she was fine to go alone.

            When making the appointment, I instructed the office person to please call me if there was a fetal demise, to not tell the patient and to send her back to us. I received the call a short time later that in fact the baby had passed. 

            It hit me so hard to have to be telling this young mother that her little girl had died in vitro.  When she got back to the office, I could tell she had figured out something was wrong.  The midwife and I talked to her.  Then we called some of her friends to come be with her.

            I prayed to God that He give me the strength to be there for her. For to be honest... I was feeling angry about what happened.  I just wanted to have anyone else but me make the phone calls necessary to arrange for the delivery of her baby. I closed my office door and started to cry. One of my favorites songs by Casting Crowns came on the radio--

"I'll Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now

God You would have reached down

And wiped our tears away

Stepped in and saved the day

But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls

I barely hear Your whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

 And takes away

As I continued to listen to more words of the song, God gave me the strength I had just prayed for.  I made the arrangements with the doctors and the hospital. 

            Then I prayed again for the right words to say to this mother.  By now her friends who were also patients of ours were with her.  Knowing she was part of a strong church family, I went in, gave her a big hug and prayed with her.  I told her about the arrangements we had made and told her she could wait until the next day when her husband would be home.  She decided to wait.

            After she left I still had to finish the day. I felt so emotionally drained.  I just wanted to leave. I also remembered I had to teach a breastfeeding and infant care class that night. Again I just asked God to show me the way and give me the strength to finish the day.

            My boss and the midwife called me later asking if I wanted to meet them at the Wine Room on Park Ave after I finished teaching.  Since I don't drink, I started to say no, but then I thought, “Yes, I need to be with the people who understand how I’m feeling."

After talking with them for awhile, I left feeling a little better though I was still asking God to show me He was there and give me the strength to continue doing the job I love to do. 

            When I got to my car, there - right in the middle of my windshield - was the most beautiful flower ever! A flower I had never seen before - similar to a magnolia or the flowers I had seen in Hawaii. I looked around to see if any other cars had flowers on them, but none did. I looked up. I was under a tree. It had no such magnificent flowers on it.   I just chuckled and said, “Thank you, Lord.”