Choices

Choices

 Evelyn Falco

            I was asked to speak about "choices" at a special women's Kairos retreat. [Kairos is an international prison ministry.  The retreat was being held for family or friends of those who were or had been incarcerated.]  This invitation was now presenting me with a choice to make.   I prayed and accepted. Now it was up to me to choose the words to say -- the ideas to present.   Here are some of the thoughts I shared that day:

****

            Everyday we each face choices -- some trivial, some critical and even life changing.  We are free to make good or bad decisions.  As a mother, wife, grandmother, and great-grandmother, my choices are often not made in my best personal interest, but are frequently made with my family in mind.

            Sometimes our choices can be supportive and encouraging; other times they can be destructive or harmful.  Often my decisions have been made as a result of choices that were previously made by others.  Simply put, our actions are often connected to ones made by others.  And our decisions can affect the lives of others as well. Some choices made by individual family members can even affect the entire family.

            For some of us the choice to be here at this retreat came through divine intervention.  By this, I mean the Holy Spirit has moved in us to become a part of this ministry.  For others, myself included, we are not only here because of such divine inspiration, but we are also responding to the actions of our loved ones.

            As mothers and wives some of us have a built-in, instinctive mechanism in our decision making process which continuously considers the impact our choices will have on our families.  For example, how we decide to budget our income will impact everyone we care for financially. On the other hand, some of us may have been self-centered in some of our choices.

            Personally, I have had to make some choices as a result of my son's bad choices.  My son and I were closely bonded from day one.  Despite all of my advice and encouragement as well as that of others, he made some very poor decisions that affected our whole family.  As a result, he is now serving a repeated offender sentence that carries a minimum sentence of 25 years.  With each incarceration leading up to this last one, I was faced the option to encourage him or to give up on him.  I decided to continue the encouragement. 

            As a result of his decisions, our whole family suffered consequences. He lost his own family.  While in prison, his wife died, and the custody of his two children was given to his wife's sister.  Also his father and I spent countless hours and money attempting to remain part of the children's lives.  We travelled to Louisiana to visit them, as well as paid attorney fees in an attempt to have the ignored court-ordered visitations enforced. We have never given up hope on him.  We continue to visit him in prison.  We send him money, write letters and accept phone calls from him. 

            No matter what, we must never give up on those who have not made good choices.  We must continue to pray for them and to live a godly life that demonstrates our faith.  We need to ask God to guide and direct us when we have to make decisions that concern us and our families. 

            God always allows us to choose.  At times, it may seem as though our choices are limited because of our circumstances.  However, the awesome gift that we have is that -- the rest of our lives begins at this very moment.  How we proceed in life is determined by the choices we will make from now on.

****

            Having a passion to become more obedient and stronger in my faith, I am thankful I was presented with this opportunity to address the women at the Kairos retreat.   It gave me a chance to give more of myself to Christ and to share my love with others.  I am glad I made my choice to speak that day.