Wednesday, May 16, 2012

In the Eye of the Beholder


Barbara S. White 
Robert Pasquel-White, my son, was born in Rio Piedras, a suburb of San Juan, Puerto Rico on November 17, 1972. Even though we moved back to the U.S. mainland when he was six months old, he retained an unexplained love of Puerto Rico and was proud of his birthplace.
On October 30, 1990 (four months after graduating from high school in Virginia, a week after returning from working with his father in San Juan, and a week before entering the U. S. Army), Robert was killed in a tragic automobile accident. His exuberant love of life was stilled a few days before his 18th birthday.
Six weeks later I moved to Puerto Rico to join my husband in San Juan. I gave up a successful and most enjoyable career with Girl Scouts USA, left our home in a scenic and historic area of
Virginia and said farewell to many friends and the close-knit community of Buck Mountain Episcopal Church. I also left an English-speaking culture. All of this caused a loss of my identity and a strong base of support while bearing intense pain in my heart and soul.
          It was several months later, during a visit to the Art Museum of Ponce on the Caribbean side of the island, that the miracle happened. While viewing an extraordinary collection of pre-Renaissance paintings, all of which had religious themes, I encountered one among the many that held my focus. How did the artist capture such grief in the eyes of the Virgin Mary? Where had I seen that look before? It took a few minutes to realize that I had seen the same look of absolute sorrow in the mirror. I realized that when I was at my lowest, there in the bottom of my soul were God and Mary. They, too, had lost a beloved son.

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