Recovering Joy

Recovering Joy

The Reverend Sarah Bronos

I came to Christ in my early 30s and was baptized and confirmed on the same day as my young children.  Soon thereafter I became part of a study group, read copious amounts of Christian literature, and became involved in many of my church’s ministries. I had never felt more alive as a Christian. But after almost ten years the Lord called my family to leave that community and move to Orlando, Florida.

We had moved to start a business.  Although what I wanted more than anything was to be in ministry in a church, my time instead was consumed with work and my children who were now in middle and high school.  My prayer life dried up.  For almost two years I was in a dark and dry place spiritually.  I grieved the loss of the sense of God’s nearness that I had experienced during those early years in the church.

During this time someone sent me a book, the title I cannot now recall, in which there was one phrase that stood out to me as if in neon lights: “no person, place, or thing can be Christ to you.”  Reading that made me stop and realize that I had become more attached to the blessing of doing ministry than to the person who had called me into that ministry.  That previous church, its community, and the ministries that had so much been part of my life, had become like idols.  They had replaced Christ in my affections.

One night near daybreak while still asleep, I knew I was sobbing and my pillow was drenched.  It seemed to me as though I was with Mary Magdalene as she ran to the tomb early that first Easter morning.  I was actually sobbing with her as she found the tomb empty.  All of her grief was my grief - it was overwhelming!  As she longed for her beloved Savior Jesus, I, too, felt the absence of my Lord.  Turning around we were blinded by the rays of the rising sun.  Yet we were able to make out a figure.  I heard Him call my name and then He said, “Child, I am not back there, but I am here.  I will never leave you.  I am always where you are.”

Immediately my dark cloud lifted.  JOY!   Once again, I felt the nearness of the Lord!  Very soon thereafter I joined another church and was once again involved in Christian ministries.  But this time, I knew better than to allow the love for ministry to replace the love for my Lord who never leaves me or any of His children.

Prayers Heard

Prayers Heard

Lillian Petersen

Several months ago I was having severe migraine headaches, nose bleeds, and high blood pressure, in spite of medication.  I was taken to the emergency room.  I was told that I might have an aneurysm.  Both a CT scan as well as an MRI of my brain were going to be necessary to determine what was wrong.  The MRI came first.  I was highly anxious – especially since I had heard from so many friends that it was a frightening experience since you are encapsulated inside the machine.  Never having had one before, I didn’t know how I was going to react.  I was told the procedure would take two hours, and I was to keep my head and neck perfectly still.  Those were even more reasons for my anxiety.

            Before the procedure, I prayed.  I asked the Lord for healing; I also told Him I would accept whatever was His will.  Once inside the “tunnel” I began praying again – moving my lips without moving my neck or head.  Soon a doctor in a white coat came to stand beside me, and thankfully, he put me at ease.  

            Forty-five minutes into the procedure, I heard the tech say I was going to be given a break.  While outside the tunnel, I asked the tech who the doctor was.  He said no doctor had been there.  I then said, “I mean the man who was in the white coat.”  He told me there was no man in a white coat either.   He said, “I saw you praying while being tested, then I heard you snoring.”  I was astonished by his comments.  The man was so very real to me! When I returned to the scanner to complete the test, I was at complete ease.

            The results of all the testing done in October 2017 showed nothing was found to be wrong with me.  Since that time, I have not experienced any migraine headaches, nosebleeds, or high blood pressure. It is now March of 2018!

             I have no doubt the Lord was the one who put me at ease and healed me.  My prayers were heard and answered!  Praise be to God!

Making Connections

Making Connections

Jeanne Graham / Ann Cooper

I (Jeanne Graham) received a copy of Magnify the Living Lord- Volume 7- a publication containing testimonies by individuals telling of ways they have been personally touched by the Lord's hand.  It was compiled at my church, The Church of the Good Shepherd in Maitland, Florida. While reading it, I noticed one of the writers was Ann Cooper.  Many years ago I had a dear friend by that name.  Could it be?  After losing contact with her for over 25 years, could I once again be finding her?  I called Joy Sutton, the compiler, and we determined that indeed she was my friend!  Joy told me that Ann had moved from Florida to Tennessee to live near her daughter.  I was absolutely delighted to find out Joy had her phone number!

I called.  How marvelous it was to hear Ann's voice once again!  As we talked and caught up on our lives, we discovered that for years both of us have struggled with an eye condition which had made it almost impossible for each of us to see.  The renewal of our friendship is truly a blessing for me!

            I (Ann Cooper) was ELATED when Jeanne called me! I'm so glad to be back in touch with her!  As a result of talking with her, a really great thing has happened.  When we talked about our eyesight, Jeanne told me about a lighted magnifying device that was making it so much easier for her to read.  I had never heard about this device. My daughter found one online, but it was way too expensive for me.  However, she was able to also find a used one that cost only a fraction of that amount.  My daughter ordered it, and NOW I can read again!   My reconnection with Jeanne as well my discovering this device have truly been blessings for me.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

God's Healing Power

God’s Healing Power

Jan Ramsey

In the fall of 1999, I became interested in the healing power of faith while visiting my sister, Missy, in Winter Park, Florida.  We attended a healing service at All Saints Episcopal Church, and it made a lasting impression on me.  Because my sister and I were very close and daughters of a minister who taught the power of prayer, attending this service with her brought us even closer together.

About that same time, I read the book, The Healing Power of Faith, written by Harold G. Koenig, director of the Center of Spirituality, Theology and Health at Duke University.  This book reinforced the motivation I received at All Saints.  In the fall of 2000, at my home church in Mississippi, I helped to organize a “healing weekend,” to be held in the spring of 2001.  I emailed Dr. Koenig inviting him to speak to our congregation.  To my surprise, he replied to me immediately agreeing to travel to Mississippi for our weekend.  However, my hopes were dashed when I learned about Dr. Koenig’s long and distinguished curriculum resume, and about his high fee.  I knew our church could not afford him.  Serendipitously, while working on a church committee with a faculty member from the Mississippi University Medical Center, I learned that he was also looking for a speaker.  Our timing coincided perfectly with the medical school’s annual symposium for new students. (At this time, medical schools began to focus on spirituality as one way to treat patients.)   Graciously Dr. Koenig agreed to speak at both the MUMC symposium as well as our church’s healing weekend.  Amazingly, the school paid for half of Dr. Koenig’s fee, and the complicated schedule fell into place.  Surely, God’s hand was evident to us all!

In September of 2000, my dear sister Missy and her husband Jimmy were killed in a plane crash.  Thankfully, their two daughters were grown and not with them.  While I knew God did not cause or plan this horrific event, I also knew that He was ever present in our suffering.  Nevertheless, all of our family churned in grief and turmoil as we grappled with the aftermath of the tragedy. 

Missy and Jimmy had lived very full lives, raised two beautiful daughters, travelled the world, and were loved by friends and family.  They were also valuable contributors to their community.   I heard from well-meaning friends questioning — “Why?”   Why and how could such a tragedy happen to such a young and vital couple with so much more life to live and give?  I can honestly say that practical answers come easily — because of Jim’s love of flying and the many hours they spent in the air.  

Sometimes I think when we ask, “Why, Oh God?”, we’re really like children throwing tantrums demanding, “I want my cake and to eat it too, and…a second helping, please!”   Why do we take lives fore granted until we lose them?  Each life is a gift.   

The appropriate response to a gift, even when it is taken away, is gratitude.  When I remember this truth, I am personally able to change my focus and to thank God for Missy’s beautiful life and legacy.

When I returned to Mississippi after the funeral, I continued to give thanks in spite of my grief as I dealt with the loss.  And I then resumed my preparations for the healing weekend.

The healing symposium took place in the spring of 2001, and became even more meaningful and comforting to me.

On a trip to Florida later in 2001, I again attended a healing service at All Saints.  I sat in the very same pew where my sister Missy and I had sat. During the passing of the peace*, the woman sitting beside me introduced herself.  Her name was Missy.  I was astonished, and told her my sister’s name was Missy….actually Margaret Melissa.  Her name was also Margaret Melissa!  At that moment, my eyes drifted up and across the entire body of believers.  I realized that I still had a sister, and a family in the Body of Christ.  I was deeply comforted.  I remembered the words from The Life of the World to Come, by Carol Zaleski.

“Every death, every bitter separation, every uncharted change we face is part of the price we must pay for our share in the deifying light, which confers fullness of life and clarity of vision. It is a terrible price, but God paid it first, and that is our comfort.  This does not make the universe a friendly place. It is still vast beyond comprehension.  There is no security except in knowing that however far and fast we fall, there is God beneath us; we are falling into God’s arms.”  

Divine Interactions

Divine Interactions

Sandra Costin

            I love to reflect on how God interacts in our lives.  In so many ways He shows His loves for us, and that He cares for every aspect of our lives.

            My husband Dick and I live in an apartment complex at Canterbury Retreat Center. One month we received a very high water bill. It was obvious that there was a leaky, underground pipe.  The repairmen searched and dug for several days but to no avail.  As my husband, Deacon Dick, was leaving for the clergy conference, he stopped with the workers and prayed, “Dear Lord, please help these men find the leak.”  Before Dick was even able to get into his car, the leak was discovered!  Shortly, thereafter, it was fixed.  This was a sure example of the scripture that says, “Ask and you will receive.”  (Matt 7:7)

            The Lord also has intervened dramatically in my own life.  We live on a very busy six-lane state road in Oviedo, Florida – Highway 434.  Directly across that highway, there are many shops and restaurants where I like to go.  One day I decided to make a five-minute walk across this road which almost ended in disaster.  After checking for traffic and seeing no cars, I started to cross.  After crossing the first two lanes, I suddenly felt as if I had literally hit a wall – I could not move.  I tried to take a step, but my feet would not work. I looked up, and out of nowhere a car zoomed by in lane three – right in front of me.  I had no idea where it had come from - all the lanes were perfectly clear when I started crossing.  Immediately I was aware that God had protected me from danger.

Another God moment happened to me on a beautiful day at the beach. While I was walking alone near the shore, a memory from my childhood surfaced from deep within me. This was a special memory - one that had a healing effect on me.  As my tears started to fall, I stopped and prayed, “Oh God, if I only had a pen…”  At that exact moment something in the surf hit my foot.  Yes, you may have guessed, it was a PEN.  Now I know what you are wondering, “Did it write?”  No, it did not.  However, I realized once again how God is in tune with our smallest desires. 

Our God is truly awesome!  He knows every intimate thought and delights in surprising us in unexpected ways to let us know He is there.  He is our everlasting defender – “our very present help in trouble.” (Ps 46:1)  Praise God!

Christ is Alive and Well in Prison

Christ is Alive and Well in Prison

 Charles Norman

In 1980 I was incarcerated at Union Correctional Institute in Raiford, Florida. Fellow prisoners repeatedly tried to get me to attend a “Kairos* Weekend.”  But I did not want to go and be with child molesters and hypocrites. 

However, in 1982, after my friend Joe Miller gave me a different insight -- the church was more a hospital for sinners than a showcase for saints, I did sign up.  I began to understand that if prisoners were going to church, it gave them a chance to change their lives and to become better men.  I also realized that I needed to deal with my own shortcomings.

When the Kairos weekend arrived, I did my best to keep my judgmental nature in check. While there, I discovered that those men were actually glad to meet me and considered me a brother.  They shared the joy they felt when they hugged me and told me Jesus loved me. It might sound hokey, but they were for real. The feelings were contagious.  And I sensed myself becoming a better man.

During the intervening years since that weekend, I have volunteered in many Christian programs. I have needed the reinforcement and fellowship that such gatherings offer.  In the midst of such worldly evil and degeneracy that dominates prison life, these gatherings serve to maintain our hope, faith and belief in a God who forgives and delivers us - which is crucial to our survival, both physically and spiritually.

I am still incarcerated but have now been moved to Tomoka Correctional Institute in Daytona Beach, Florida.  In 2010 I attended a “Kairos Reunion” program at the prison chapel. Such reunions give the prisoners, who have previously attended Kairos Weekends, a chance to reinforce the faith and spiritual lessons they learned during the “short course in Christianity.”  During these follow-up monthly programs, volunteers come from surrounding communities. These two-hour programs consist of testimonies, prayers, songs, and discussions.

At this particular gathering several prisoners with guitars and other musical instruments led an introductory hymn, “Victory In Jesus.” As I sang along with the group with my eyes closed, I imagined that I was a child in Redwater Baptist Church in East Texas in the 1950’s.  I was in the comforting midst and security of my family, hearing those same words for the first time.

“I heard an old, old story, how a Savior came from glory,

How He gave His life on Calvary, to save a wretch like me.


I heard about His groaning, of His precious blood’s atoning,

Then I repented of my sins and won the victory...”


When I opened my eyes, I returned to reality – no longer a child in Texas.  Instead it

was 2010, and I was in a prison chapel filled with convicted felons. There were also a handful of well-meaning citizens who could see beyond these sins.  They demonstrated their faith by coming through the razor wire and prison gates to encourage the men whom society has written off and cast aside.

For the couple of hours we spent in the chapel, we couldn’t see the fences, the guard towers, and the gun trucks cruising around. We were able to see the best in our fellow man, as we continued to sing:

“O Victory in Jesus, my Savior forever,


He sought me and bought me, with His redeeming blood.

He loved me ere I knew Him, and all my love is due Him.

He plunged me to victory, beneath the cleansing flood.”

Thank God, Christ is alive and well in prison!

* Kairos Prison Ministry is a Christian program which shares the transforming love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ.  The goal is to impact the hearts and lives of incarcerated men, women, and youth, as well as their families. 

Being There

Being There

Sue  Steward

A Vision

When my husband and I were raising our four small children, times were difficult.  Being a carpenter and living in Minnesota, my husband was only employed during the warmer months of the year.  When he didn’t have work, I would always find a second job to make ends meet.  During this time, I searched for security in my life.

At this stage of my life I did a lot of church hopping.  I wanted to find a place where I could really feel the presence of God.  One Sunday, while worshipping and praying with a congregation of believers that met in an old country school, I closed my eyes and raised my hands in praise.  After a moment, the room filled with warmth and light.  An unbelievable feeling came over me!  In my mind’s eye, I could see a large hand come into that light and wrap around me.  The experience gave me the secure feeling I had been longing for.    I knew then that everything was going to be all right.  The Lord gave me that assurance!

Answered Prayer

Later in life, I became an LPN, which I felt to be my calling.  There were many occasions when I and my nursing friends were able to gather around those patients in need of prayer.  There were even instances when we would baptize an infant if time made it imperative.  How joyful it was to be able to share my faith with others! 

On one occasion a man was told by his doctor that he had cancer in his leg which would require surgery.  During the surgery, a biopsy was to be done to confirm the diagnosis.  If it proved to be positive, he was told his leg would have to be amputated.  As I cared for him before surgery, I called in another nurse who was also a believer, and we laid hands on him.  When he returned from surgery that afternoon, he returned with his leg.  No cancer was found to be present.  Our prayer had been answered!  Thanks be to God!

I know that my mission as a nurse was to be where God needed me.  My relationship with Him and His presence in my life makes my life complete.