John
Kutzuba
Forty-eight hours after my fourth
chemotherapy infusion, I felt all was well: no side effects - no change in my
energy level. Sleep came quickly on Saturday evening as I lay down
for the night. However, something happened
during that night. I awoke perspiring, yet
I felt freezing cold. My mind raced back to the chemo. I thought this must
be the cumulative effects of the treatments and that they were now taking their
toll on my body. A quick fix was an added blanket and comforter so that I could
sleep until morning - or so I thought. I did not realize that this would be one
of the last real time recollections I
would have for the next 36 hours!
On Sunday morning my wife tried to
wake me after 11:00 a.m., since I had been sleeping for nearly 13 hours.
Patricia could not wake me! In a panic, she ran to a neighbor for help. Thankfully
our neighbors were able to wake me. After
seeing my condition, they quickly ordered me to go to the hospital. I was
seen immediately and admitted with severe sepsis and pneumonia. The ER
physician told Patricia that I was in grave condition; he didn't know if I
would live. My prognosis was not good! I
have no memory of the ER or being moved to a hospital room.
Sometime during that Sunday night an
event occurred that I will never forget. My eyes were closed; a cloudy sky
appeared. From behind a cloud on the
left came a bright light - a very, very bright light! It was burning
through the cloud and becoming even brighter. "NO, NO," I said to myself. "This can't be THE LIGHT!" [In the past I have heard about people having
near-death experiences seeing a light that guided them into heaven. I felt that I was not ready to make this
journey at this time.] I opened my eyes
and saw the ceiling in the hospital room. It seemed to be a million miles away
compared to the clouds and the light. I felt I could reach out and touch the
clouds. Once again I closed my eyes only to see the bright light. I watched as
the clouds were again being consumed by the light. The light seemed to be
getting brighter and closer to me. Suddenly
a darker cloud appeared from the right and started to move across the
light. The light still was successful in penetrating through the clouds. Then
suddenly another cloud, and then more clouds covered the light until it
was gone. All that was left was a black sky which is what I normally see when I
close my eyes.
Since having this experience, I have
no doubt that I survived that night due to God's listening to the faithful prayers
from family and friends, and from Reverend Carl and my church family at St.
John's. I am now at peace with myself. I feel calmer dealing with the
"Daily Bumps in the Road of Life" and with my continuing cancer
treatment. I am comforted knowing The Light is there. I feel in touch with God, and I pray for
peace and health for others - not just for myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment